I've had many moments of frustration during training sessions with our birds. So when I saw a video titled, "How To End Frustration For Good," I thought it might be worth a watch. The banjo instructor, who is also a neurologist who specializes in how the brain learns, explains that the first way to reduce frustration is to get rid of your expectations "because frustration happens when our expectations don't match our reality."
Right away I felt my frustration starting to build because I didn't feel this advice was practical. How can I drop expectations when I need to plan a session in advance? When I walk into Otto's mew, I need to have an idea of what we're going to work on in that session. I might plan a session to practice standing with Otto on glove. But if he won't even step on the glove, what happens? Frustration.
Before the holidays, were were stuck in this vibe where Otto wasn't stepping on the glove anymore and I was getting frustrated. My training mentor suggested working on the basics. Move the glove around near his feet. Feed food over the glove. Wiggle his equipment. Work on other behaviors.
It felt like a bit of a demotion to me. A step backward. But she explained that all of these little pieces are still working toward the goal of stepping on glove. Even though he's not on the glove in these sessions, every little bit of positive interaction will add up to make him even more comfortable on the glove in the future.
Finally the lightbulb went off in my head. Planning a session and having expectations for what will happen in the session are two different things. If I plan to practice standing with Otto on glove, I have that behavior broken down in my head into the tiny building blocks that will get us there. I don't start with the expectation that Otto will step on. When we start the session, I read how he is feeling and decide in the moment where we are. I might just wiggle his equipment. Or he might step up right away.
Luckily I have found that dropping precise expectations really does reduce frustration.
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